Alive

I will not forget what you’ve done and said
I will not forget the punches you dealt
I will not forget the blood that was spilt
I won’t forget when I wished I was dead
Why? Well look at me know. I’m still alive
Sure the horrible pain is still seething
But what matters is that I’m still breathing
I have a tenacious will to survive
Tell your friends. Tell the whole world. I’m still here
I will rock on with the widest of grins
I simply can’t lose. I can only win
Look at my face and you will see no fear

Knock me back down onto my knees? Never!
Hear this - I’m back and better than ever


31st May 2003

Paranoia

Here I continue struggling on my way
With nothing to use to make me strong
There is not right in this world - only wrong
And this life’s not black or white - only grey
How will I know I won’t be rejected?
How will I know I won’t be dubbed a jerk?
How will I know my friendships will all work?
How can I journey on unprotected?
What do I do if something new does come?
What do I do if my hands are empty?
And if there’s nothing left to aid me?
So what do I do? Do I walk? Or run?

Someone, anyone. Please give me a sign
Answer me! For I’m running out of time


31st May 2003

Will the Summertime come again?

Gone are the happy times I remember
The warmth, the beaches, the smiles, the fun
Gone for good is this years wave of summer
I don’t want it to leave! I want the sun!
But wait! The sun is shining this morning
I grab my shorts with a grin on my face
If the summer is truly returning
Then I’ll make it come at a quicker pace!
In shorts and T-shirt, I went to breakfast
When I got there, my mother laughed at me
She said: “In winter those clothes aren’t the best!”
“So go get changed and stop being silly!”

My fantasy didn’t stop winters gloom
But I still want to summer to return soon


25th May 2003

Unemployed

Its a new morning and the house is empty
My endless quest begins again anew
I haven’t got a place where I should be
So here I journey to find things to do
I walk alone with no one to help me
But I have company so all’s not lost
Just me and my videos and CD’s
Emerged from laziness I’ve paid the cost
My credentials are but a laughing stock
Built with little effort by lazy hands
So should this bleak future come as a shock?

Come on kids, come and laugh until you weep
Come on and meet the king of the trash heap


24th May 2003

Words

Fighting to say the words you want to hear
Secrets want to speak but I’m not willing
My face moulded into a mask of fear
From my hands so much sweat keeps on spilling
Ashamed, Awkward, embarrassed, hesitant.
From my mouth, one by one, words march on out
Slowly, haltingly, to you they are sent
They are said in a soft whisper, not a shout
Yes, these words have been a long time coming
But this moment you didn’t want to miss
So you took my hand in a grasp loving
And you leaned forward to complete the kiss

Your love has given me courage and strength. Thus
I just have to tell the world about us


??/?? 2003

March of the Goths

The day has ended, the sun has fallen
A cloak of dark nightshade is descending
The time has come to emerge from hiding
We now walk on our own feet - no crawling
March into the night now the sun’s gone down
Ranks and ranks of black cloth and white faces bland
Everyone holding a candle in hand
We march to gather on a secret hill
A sacred place where we have fun freely
Where none mock us and ourselves we can be
And into our stomachs sweet wine we’ll spill

We march on our pilgrimage in silence
And a single bell tolls in the distance


2nd May 2003

I shall think of you every time I hear Delta Goodrem

Light of the morning creeps into my room
A piano tells the world it’s misery
A heart-broken chick wails on TV
But, in my heart, no light can crush the gloom
The sad voice bears the shame of loneliness
And I must admit I know the feeling
A horrendous pain has left me reeling
Forging me into a miserable mess
I hope that where you are, you’re hearing the song
Because it’s not too late to change your mind
Me, you will know exactly where to find
And you’ll listen when I say I was wrong

I honestly want you back my lover
And we will both sing this song together


2nd May 2003

Desert

The flames in my heart are burning red hot
Burning like the wretched world around me
All I see is dry, scorched and left to rot
And no one knows because no one can see
You followed me in and you fell behind
We grow weaker as all our strength stays gone
We search the land but there’s nothing to find
Trapped in a doomed loop that goes on and on
There is nothing left for us both in here
Pain of guilt ravages, pride is swallowed
Infected with pain and blinded by fear
And the struggle will resume tomorrow

But a belief of hope won’t let me die
So lets keep walking with our heads held high


2nd May 2003