The ten worst break up lines

“Many women want to make love to me
To their satisfaction I must concede”
“I am more attracted to men honey
It’s within them that I find what I need”
“I’m in love with your mother. Yes it’s true!”
“I’m in love with your father. What a man!”
“Now’s the time I go to Nicole Kidman
She needs me more than ever. She’s so blue!”
“All I want from this is a good shag baby!”
“It’s not you, it’s me. And that’s the truth dear”
“Your hate of Lionel Ritchie disgusts me!”
“You’re simply too annoying! Am I clear?!”

“I love you but this won’t work out to please
Because you won’t let me wear your panties”


17th July 2005

Spike’s lament on being single no. 5842684122

The hands crave human touch but there is none
The soul needs feeling but there is a hole
As the eyes can’t see that which is the one
Downhill all sense of hope begins to roll
The voice wants to say words but there’s no ears
The heart is empty but there’s no filling
The need to state these concerns is met with jeers
No other is ready to be willing
The mind is told that love is all around
The lips therefore asks “Why not around here?”
The goal keeps on refusing to be found
As the desolation becomes so clear

Spare me the reassurance you’re sending
As far as I know, the world is ending


11th July 2005

I’m proud to be an Australian

I’m from a nation founded by Britons
Just because their jails were overflowing
The Tasmanian Tiger’s a state icon
A creature we hunted to extinction
Anzac Day is acknowledged nation wide
Based around a military disaster
We’ve an anthem called Waltzing Matilda
A song about stealing and suicide
Eureka Stockade was our civil war
And it only lasted half an hour
And our capital? Our place of power?
An architectural feat but a real bore

Here’s to Australia, this land so strong
Hey twenty million piss-heads can’t be wrong!


11th July 2005

Reflections

Five years ago, a kid came to this spot
He was delighted that he’d arrived here
He walked with confidence and without fear
He walked to leave the past behind to rot
He walked with both of his eyes wide open
Ready to catch anything dealt his way
Not caring what everyone had to say
Not wanting to keep his future waiting
He walked well prepared to find his own place
He walked on his feet but not on his knees
And ready to forge his own destiny
And he did it with a smile on his face

And now, on this spot I’ve come back around
The kid’s inside me: I won’t let him down


4th July 2005

The paranoid ravings of a single man

No one wants any romance around here
The lengths people will go to seem absurd
No warm, fuzzy feelings - that is the word
And nobody will take this heart so dear
Independent women are now the rage
They can do any tough task by the score
Thus, they don’t need men like me any more
And so I’ve been shut away in this cage
And now, it’s acceptable to be gay
Thus now making the heteros frowned upon
No one’s telling me where I’m going wrong
No one wants to hear what I have to say

Ideas keep changing. I can’t keep the pace
On the deluded path to a false place


9th July 2005

Helping Hand

My brother isn’t as strong as I am
On this journey he will stumble and fall
While those around him keep on standing tall
And he keeps struggling on as best he can
But when he needs it, I’ll help my brother
I’ll reach out and give him a helping hand
And back on his own feet I’ll help him stand
Especially when there is no other
The weight I carry is not my concern
The fact that he’s weak isn’t a problem
Nor that he’s different from my fellow men
I just won’t sit around whilst he burns

And the reason why I act to his plea?
The fact I’m a member of humanity


4th July 2005

University Student

I am here simply because I want to
Being here means I flee manual labour
I’m not here cos’ my parents want me to
And this right took an effort to procure
I’m walking the path that is right and true
Who cares if I take it too seriously?
What I’m doing some folk would love to do
Who wants to waste this opportunity?
I will do this: On my hands I won’t sit
Goofing off was done in high school
I want only to pass this course dammit!
Who cares if everyone calls me a tool?

I am here because I am here to learn
And achieve the destiny that I yearn


4th July 2005

Wasted

This day is beautiful beyond belief
The sun is shining and the clouds are blue
On this summer’s day, there’s nothing to rue
The soul sighs with long-over due relief
From my bones, the built up tension eases
The pain is cast away leaving no trace
As the sunlight beams on my smiling face
And the storm within my heart decreases
This long road has been walked upon before
Always stretching as far as I can see
It refused to lead me to victory
But defeat’s not a concern any more

The grin’s wide but the eyes are choked with red
From the two shotgun shells in my forehead


4th July 2005

The Day I Wrote a Hopeful Poem

It happened on the worst day of my life
With disasters that shock me to the core
I was torn apart by pain, conflict, strife
I felt like I couldn’t take any more
Needing solution, I picked up a pen
And wrote down words on a piece of paper
Words of strength, conquest, hope to enlighten
Words to make my troubled soul feel better
I took these words to the world to show ‘em
They didn’t say it sucked, nor it was sappy
They felt comfort and joy with my poem
And I felt great making them all happy

On that day I fought my demons and won
And decided to tell all how it’s done


27th June 2005

Not Backing Down

Raise the alarm. Today it has begun
Move out of the way – its happening now
Look at this face – It’ll never ever bow
And I won’t stop until the battle’s won
A strong, pure human will won’t bring me down
I live on this earth and on it I’ll stay
Because victory shall be mine this day
I won’t chicken out. I’m standing my ground.
Grind on as the demons in my way fall
There’s no yesterday there’s no tomorrow
There’s only the now – So I’ll let them know
I can do anything and still stand tall

Forgetting the past and the pain therein
With the self-belief that I’m gonna win


26th June 2005

Death of a Bastard

So, who’s going to mourn me when I’m dead?
Who’ll come to plant flowers on my graveside?
No, they’d rather fling dirt on me instead.

The people with happy eyes and smiles wide
Pleased with the news that from life I’ve resigned
They come with words explosive as land mines

Persecutors who now sing of good times
The wrong-done who’ve come just to state their case
With stories of hate, anger and bad crimes

Meat-axes, who wanted to break my face
The apathy knowing I got what I should
Snobs who threw me from their exclusive place

But who’d talk about a man who was good?
As his many friends will no doubt attest?
And on how much he was misunderstood?

About he who tried his absolute best?
Even when no one saw what he could see?
About a great man who was viewed a pest?

A man who never walked on his knees?
A man who did good things as well as bad?
Who wasn’t as horrible as they plea?

But no one listens to the truth – how sad
And thus it is buried six feet under
As the sods rely on the view they had


8th June 2005

Blondes prefer gentlemen

Holding your hand to make mine warm
Pushing back your fringe to see your blue eyes
Stroking your neck to hear the sweetest sighs
As you rain your kisses down in a storm
Drowning all your loneliness and your fear
Saying you’re the most beautiful woman
Allowing your blonde hair drift through my hand
Saying the things that you’ve longed to hear
Catching all those words you’ve wanted to say
Caressing your soft shoulders tenderly
Drop your defences. Here there’s only me
There’s no need to be scared for here I’ll stay

Open up your pure heart and let mine in
Because for far too long it’s been waiting


3rd June 2005

Miss Clare remembered

I should have your hand being held in mine
I should have your voice whispering softly
I should have your skin - smooth, pale and so fine
I should have your love pouring onto me
I should have your golden hair in my touch
I should have your beautiful smiling face
I should have your love. I need it so much
I should have your light within this dark place
I should have your heart in embrace baby
I should have your sweet red lips and their taste
I should have your affection. Do you see?
I should have your love. Mine’s going to waste

But I only have your face in my dreams
As well as the thought of what could have been


1st June 2005