Elvis doesn't answer my e-mails

Once, I sent Elvis Presley an e-mail
Asking how he’s doing and if he’s well
I said I liked his work with JXL
And I asked for a reply – without fail
I sent The King a cyberspace greeting
Does he still enjoy his hamburgers?
What does he think of impersonators?
Is Vegas still a place worth visiting?
I wrote to Grace Lands to say “howdy!”
And to thank Aron for leading the way
(For the modern music we hear today)
And would he find time to write back to me

And I am still waiting for a reply
But no such thing has come – I wonder why?


??/?? 2003

The private life of a jester

Let me tell you a wonderful story
A story full of laughter and sharp wit
A story full of song and poetry
A story about a social misfit
I’ll arrange my words in a complex maze
I’ll keep you enthralled so you will stay
And I’ll hold you, my audience, in my gaze
Because you know I’ve got something to say
This is a story no one else would hear
Performed by someone no one else would know
They won’t know I can be gentle and dear
This me, to you, I’m not ashamed to show

Love is blind but you know who to listen to
And you will hear it because I love you


??/?? 2003

For everyone who’s posted an anti-religious poem at TPS

Yes, you may voice your opinions on God
Yes, you have the freedom to speak your mind
Yes, you can speak on how he made life unkind
But can you spare a thought for me – the mod?
I have to read this stuff as well you know!
I have to keep the hope forum in check
But recently I’ve turned into a wreck
Because this poetic batch makes me feel low
You may renounce, condemn, question and curse
But I’m reading this after a hard day
I see nothing to make me shout “Hooray!”
Consequentially, I’m left feeling worse!

So voice your hatred of God if you should
But is that supposed to make me feel good?!


30th October 2003

Built to last

No amount of punches will keep me down
I will never crack, rot, decay or rust
I will crush my enemies into dust
I stand on my feet. I don’t kiss the ground
My legs won’t fail, they will take me there
My arms keep on – They won’t go down this time
My brain knows and awaits the victory sign
You call it impossible. I don’t care
You may hit, punch, kick and try to shake me
But as long as my heart’s inside thumping
The engine that is me will keep on pumping
And nothing you say or do will break me

There’s no foe to big, no challenge to great
I’ll keep moving. I don’t need an update


??/?? 2003

You would know every word!

Sitting in a car in the hot summer
My sister sings along to the radio
She knows every word and where it should go
So, can someone save me from this torture?
It’s the same song that’s been playing for weeks
One of emotional intensity
She knows every word – unsurprisingly
But it makes us look like a pair of freaks
Does she think I care that she knows every line?
Does she know that this is embarrassing?
Does she think that I want to hear her sing?
Do I have to spell it out? Hang a sign?

And you know what really makes me sick?
She’s not a teenager, she’s twenty six!


10-11/10/2003

Journeys of Transition

My brother is but a plane trip away
My sister’s now got a place of her own
I can talk to them when they’re on the phone
But no longer do I see them each day
Years ago it was all a different way
We would argue, take sides, bicker and fight
We would refuse to share and forget birthdays
And we’d deny the bond that held us tight
But now, with my siblings gone, it’s different
Conversations last longer than before
We’ve even stopped hating our parents
And we support each other more and more

Absence doesn’t just make the heart grow fonder
It makes the bond of family stronger


??/?? 2003

Accident in the kitchen

I live with three humans who are quite kind
And my daft, but lovable, half brother
Sure we fight but we look after each other
But there’s a prize that we both wish to find
Then one day, the opportunity came
The door to the inside was left open
So we both headed into the kitchen
Where our sought after prize waited the claim
We advanced to the place called the pantry
A place we had come to know very well
We grabbed a bag we picked out from the smell
And we tore it open to reap victory

Then I found dog food strewn across the floor
And my dogs eating it up by the score


??/?? 2003